2-Headed Shark Attack

One shark. Two heads. Fifteen mostly indistinguishable characters. One star is pushing it.

Following the success of Mega Shark and Sharktopus, a two-headed shark was probably inevitable. Quite why it should be so deadly given its rubbish hydrodynamics is a problem for the filmmakers, but has been resolved here by having it gnash its teeth a lot to a bastardised version of Terminator 2 music. We also encounter a dead megamouth shark it may have killed, so we can tell it must be really hard. Unfortunately for our heroes, said megamouth shark gets caught in their propeller and damages the hull of their ship, forcing them to take refuge on a nearby atoll. Then the atoll starts sinking too.

Said heroes are mostly young people taking some kind of sailing course, though many of them would prefer to be sunbathing or picking each other up. Brooke Hogan - the only one with a shred of acting ability - plays Kate, who is stronger and smarter but hampered by a fear of the water. Carmen Electra, the only other star in the film, does so little that it would seem the producers could only afford to keep her on set for an afternoon. She plays the partner of the instructor, played by Charlie O'Connell, who slightly scrapes his leg early on and is presented as a medical emergency. In addition to these three we have a geek, a macho man, a woman who seems to have a crush on Kate, and a whole lot of sharkbait.

That's really about it. There are a lot of bad shark movies out there but this is one of the weakest. With very few ideas for scenes, it's forced to drag them all out for as long as possible to try to make up the running. Around ten minutes are spent simply on scenes of bikini-clad women screaming. The shark has a few cute tricks, biting two victims at once or ripping one in half between its heads, but the model work is dodgy even by Asylum standards and the CGI is worse. Everything feels a bit half-hearted, even the 'skinny dipping' scene in which people keep their underpants on. The only note of sophistication comes in the form of unusually accurate shark lore, but this has the effect of suggesting several more interesting stories one might want to watch instead.

A two-headed shark should be easy to love, so the scale of failure here really says something. The film itself has nothing to say at all. It's strictly for those who are too drunk to think and preferably too drunk to see.